We held our caucus, and boy are our paws tired

Editorial by Bogart

With the 2008 presidential primaries in full swing, we at Wag the Dog feel it’s an appropriate time to make an endorsement.  We’ve looked at all the candidates from both parties and have decided to skip over endorsing a single candidate from each side and, instead, will be endorsing a complete ticket for the 2008 Presidential election.  We’ve held our caucuses and feel we’ve rubbed out the winning ticket.  We’re endorsing Obama dodd Biden. This Dream Team offers hope, a chance for change, and it includes a couple rich white guys over the age of 65 for that “experience factor” (because we know how you Republican voters just LOVE having rich, old white guys run the country).  But mostly, the ticket will wreak havoc on the 24-hour cable news networks that have yet been able to figure out how to mention Barack Obama’s name without slipping in an “Osama” or “Hussein” into their coverage.  Fox News and its clan of loyal, misinformed viewers will most likely get the most mileage out of our endorsement, not to mention the patriots responsible for facilitating the Obama smear campaign by forwarding emails that ignorantly portray Obama as a former Madrassa student who is now a radical Muslim who won’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance or show reverence to the American flag.  Or the email that Obama’s church is a racist church that excludes non-blacks.  Haven’t these people heard of Snopes.com by now?

Frankly, the decision to endorse Obama dodd Biden wasn’t difficult.  After Obama won the Iowa Caucus, you could almost hear the Good ‘Ole Boys on The Right saying, “this black fella’s on to something with his change mantra.”  Pretty soon the Reagan incarnates are arguing on stage about who can affect the most change as President of the United States.  Please tell me how going back to the 1980’s and the same old Republican way of tax cuts for the rich, the elimination of a middle class, and creating “small government” by creating a massive national debt equates to change?  Or, is this the Ronald Reagan these yahoos are talking about? 

Unfortunately, something tells me it’s not.  And these same Reagan wannabes all try to distance themselves from Bush but vow to continue the Bush foreign policy (i.e., The Surge, occupying foreign lands, bombing everybody, ignoring the Constitution, outsourcing America to Halliburton and Blackwater).  How is this change?  And then there’s Hillary (or Billary or Hillbilly or whatever).  How is keeping the power in the hands of a few who happen to be named “Bush” or “Clinton” going to make a difference?  It’s time to take back America, people! 

At Wag the Dog, we’d like to remain independent.  But it’s hard.  It really is.  At Comedy Central’s Last Laugh 2007 television event, host Lewis Black hit the nail on the head when he commented on the last 15 years by saying, “…if you are (still an ardent Democrat or Republican), my hat is off to you because you’re living in a delusion that I can’t even conceive of.” [source]  The time for change is now, and that’s why we endorse Obama dodd Biden.  Or Edwards.  He’d be a good choice, too.  Plus, we like his hair.