Tag Archives: dog

Out of the Mouths of Babes… and Evildoers

Bush calls on all nations to end torture

Seriously… he did

I find listening to all this torture talk to be, well, torturous…  sort of like sitting through an entire airing of Fox & Friends in the morning.  The United States does not torture.  Instead, we simply redefine torturethe definition of torture then call it “enhanced interrogation techniques”.  At the same time, the Justice Department hires lawyers with no morals and directs them to provide legal rationale for breaking the law so that we can torture some terrorist into tying Al-Qaeda to Saddam Hussein, thereby obtaining “evidence” to justify an unjustifiable war.  Oh, and by the way, interrogation experts agree that torture doesn’t work… unless, of course, your intent is to get the prisoner to confess to whatever you (or The White House) want.

Torture is torture.  Waterboarding is torture.  It was defined as such a long time ago.  In fact, did you know waterboarding used to be a crime in the U.S. during pre-Bush times?  Of course you did, so why ignore the facts now?  According to a Washington Post article, after World War II the U.S. convicted several Japanese soldiers for waterboarding American and Allied prisoners of war (it was called the water cure by the Japanese).  As far back as the U.S. occupation of the Philippines after the 1898 Spanish-American War, U.S. soldiers were court-martialed for using the “water cure” to question Filipino guerrillas.  In 1983, federal prosecutors charged a Texas sheriff and three of his deputies with violating prisoners’ civil rights by forcing confessions through the use of waterboarding.

Whether you call them enhanced interrogation techniques OR freedom tickles,  it doesn’t matter.  This shouldn’t even enter into the debate, but the Right Wing hawks are doing a good job of keeping it in the forefront.  They specialize in scaring the shit out of the public in order to get what they want.  But the question that needs to be answered is, torture-with-bush11“Did the Bush Administration break the law by using torture?” Unfortunately, I have a feeling the Bush Administration is guilty of far greater crimes than torture. Torture was just a tool in the campaign to falsify and exploit 9/11 so that fearful Americans would be bamboozled into a mission that had nothing to do with Al-Qaeda.  The lying about Iraq remains the original sin from which flows much of the Bush White House’s illegality [quote from Frank Rich New York Times Op-Ed] .  But let’s at least call for further investigation; otherwise, we’re most certainly setting a precedent making lawful what has always been unlawful [from rogerhollander.wordpress.com].

Anyway, I can’t count how many times I recall President G.W. Bush telling the nation and the rest of the world that the United States does not torture.  But his statement on International Day in Support of Torture Victims in 2003 was, in retrospect, disingenuous at best. [re-printed below – source is HERE]

So all you holier-than-thou neo-cons out there who think it’s all of a sudden “ok” to torture “those people” should ask yourself, “Who would Jesus torture?” Interestingly enough, this Pew Research Center poll indicates the Jesus crowd is more than willing to support the use of torture.  Note to self:  Never EVER get picked up by a religious dog-catcher.

WAG THE DOGWe bark… you decide!

(Statement on International Day in Support of Torture Victims)

Bush Calls Torture “an Affront to Human Dignity Everywhere”

President Bush says torture anywhere is an affront to human dignity everywhere, and the United States is committed to building a world where human rights are respected and protected by the rule of law.

In a statement issued on United Nations International Day in Support of Victims of Torture June 26, the president called on all governments to join in prohibiting, investigating and prosecuting all acts of torture and in undertaking to prevent other cruel and unusual punishment.

Following is the text of Bush’s statement:
(begin text)

THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the Press Secretary
June 26, 2003

STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT

United Nations International Day in Support of Victims of Torture

Today, on the United Nations International Day in Support of Victims of Torture, the United States declares its strong solidarity with torture victims across the world. Torture anywhere is an affront to human dignity everywhere. We are committed to building a world where human rights are respected and protected by the rule of law.

Freedom from torture is an inalienable human right. The Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment, ratified by the United States and more than 130 other countries since 1984, forbids governments from deliberately inflicting severe physical or mental pain or suffering on those within their custody or control. Yet torture continues to be practiced around the world by rogue regimes whose cruel methods match their determination to crush the human spirit. Beating, burning, rape, and electric shock are some of the grisly tools such regimes use to terrorize their own citizens. These despicable crimes cannot be tolerated by a world committed to justice.

Notorious human rights abusers, including, among others, Burma, Cuba, North Korea, Iran, and Zimbabwe, have long sought to shield their abuses from the eyes of the world by staging elaborate deceptions and denying access to international human rights monitors. Until recently, Saddam Hussein used similar means to hide the crimes of his regime. With Iraq’s liberation, the world is only now learning the enormity of the dictator’s three decades of victimization of the Iraqi people. Across the country, evidence of Baathist atrocities is mounting, including scores of mass graves containing the remains of thousands of men, women, and children and torture chambers hidden inside palaces and ministries. The most compelling evidence of all lies in the stories told by torture survivors, who are recounting a vast array of sadistic acts perpetrated against the innocent. Their testimony reminds us of their great courage in outlasting one of history’s most brutal regimes, and it reminds us that similar cruelties are taking place behind the closed doors of other prison states.

The United States is committed to the world-wide elimination of torture and we are leading this fight by example. I call on all governments to join with the United States and the community of law-abiding nations in prohibiting, investigating, and prosecuting all acts of torture and in undertaking to prevent other cruel and unusual punishment. I call on all nations to speak out against torture in all its forms and to make ending torture an essential part of their diplomacy. I further urge governments to join America and others in supporting torture victims’ treatment centers, contributing to the UN Fund for the Victims of Torture, and supporting the efforts of non-governmental organizations to end torture and assist its victims.

No people, no matter where they reside, should have to live in fear of their own government. Nowhere should the midnight knock foreshadow a nightmare of state-commissioned crime. The suffering of torture victims must end, and the United States calls on all governments to assume this great mission.

(end text)

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Put a sweater on, Old Man!

I just finished checking the pressure of all the tires on our family vehicles, including Claire’s Jeep brand stroller. Plus, I think Momma has a 50,000 mile tune-up scheduled for her Nazi-wagen Passat, so I think we’re all set. But, I’ve been meaning to blog about Obama’s crazy idea about oil conservation… you know, the one where he says keeping your car tires inflated and engine properly maintained will increase fuel efficiency, thereby helping to lower gas consumption. I mean, where does he get this load of crap and why does he think anyone would actually take personal responsibility to help conserve energy? Someone needs to remind Obama about Jimmy Carter and his cardigan sweater (Google it, folks!). Besides, any educated person – as well as Right Wing lunatics like Newt Gingrich – can tell you that the only way forward is to drill here and drill now! We can drill our way to energy independence in no time, my friends… right after we “win the wars in Iraq… Afghanistan… Iran… Syria…”, give every American a house, kick all the Mexicans out of the country, and teach McCain about the Internets. I actually support domestic drilling (such as on the 68 million untapped acres already permitted to the oil companies), and that’s why I plan to start drilling in our backyard. The feds seems to enjoy handing out billions of dollars in tax credits and other incentives to anyone willing to drill, so I’m on-board with this plan. Plus, there’s a good chance I might find that steak bone I buried out there last spring that has gone missing… probably stolen by a squirrel.

Anyway, I did some research and found more information about Obama’s insane (not to be confused with “McCain”) automotive maintenance tips. Leave it to Stephen Colbert to set the record straight HERE.

Cartoonbank.com

This blogging thing is for the birds…

dog-blog.jpg

The Friday Funnies

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A MadTV video clip:  Apple Computers presents “THE iRACK”

MadTV shows you why Wal-Mart is evil: 

A disturbing (yet educational) song from the cult ’80’s video series:  Strong Kids, Safe Kids

A Dwight Schrute PSA about bears:

WARNING: Your Super Bowl Festivus Could Kill You!

Studies point to numerous health hazards associated with Super Bowl celebrations

AP – More than 10 years ago, George Costanza submerged the world into a delicious, creamy concoction of healthy controversy when he double-dipped a chip on national TV.  The act of dipping a chip, taking a bite, then going back to the dip with a half-eaten chip in hand is a widely used snacking strategy employed by people throughout the world.  Double-dipping does not discriminate, and it’s a public health hazard.  Or is it?  You be the judge.

Clemson professor Paul L. Dawson, a food microbiologist, was so intrigued by this exchange that he decided to investigate.  The results, to be published later this year in the Journal of Food Safety, found that it is a little bit like putting your whole mouth in the dip.  On average, three to six double-dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from the eater’s mouth to the remaining dip in the bowl.  [sources 1 and 2

While this isn’t a major public health crisis yet, it is pretty gross.  And I drink water from a toilet, share a water dish with my friends, and often times will sit on the floor and lick my own butt for hours.  Regardless, this reporter has NEVER been known to double-dip a chip.  Yuck!

Even if you manage to steer clear of any Super Bowl party double-dippers, you are still in serious danger of a heart attack or other cardiac emergency, according to a study true-football-fan.jpgauthored by Dr. Gerhard Steinbeck of Ludwig Maximilians University in Germany.  He and his colleagues present their results in next Thursday’s New England Journal of Medicine.  They studied thousands of Germany soccer fans and came to the conclusion that heart problems can be linked to game-day stress.  For example, this kid is a heart attack waiting to happen.  The doctors also blamed emotional stress for the heart problems, but they note that lack of sleep, overeating, wolfing down junk food, boozing and smoking might have played a role, too.  Read more about it here.

hot-dogs.jpgLuckily for our Wag the Dog publisher, he really doesn’t care who wins the Super Bowl, although he plans to cheer for the underdog New York Football Giants.  Not having a team to support on Sunday is good news for Mr. Stewart’s stress level, yet he’s still a slightly overweight man who likes loves his beer, doesn’t get much any sleep, has major issues with portion control when dining, and plans to set a new World Record for “number of chili dogs eaten on Super Bowl Sunday”.  On a positive note, he’s not a Marlboro Man, so he’s got that going for him.

Anyway, steer clear of double-dippers and Cheetos on Sunday.  Oh, and learn about the 10 Worst Chips Ever!

Remmy is our Senior Sports Correspondent and an avid dog park patron.  To protect his water dish from would-be double-dippers, Remmy often times submerges his entire head into the water bowl, leaving saliva and black dog hair floating on the surface of the water for the next dog to enjoy.

Favre to stiff-arm Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx

Prediction:  NY Giants 14  Green Bay Packers 34

If you’re a sports fan, then you’ve most likely heard a little something about the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx.  Millions of superstitious readers — and many athletes — si-cover-black-cat.jpgbelieve an appearance on Sports Illustrated’s cover is the kiss of death.  Numerous professional athletes have surcumbed to injury following an appearance on the magazine’s cover.  In fact, in 2001, SI was forced to go to print with a cover featuring a black cat (after NFL quarterback, Kurt Warner, refused to pose for the cover).  Superstitions centering around the black cat are some of the most well-known and popular superstitions today.  We at Wag the Dog have long held that ALL cats are evil and are not to be trusted, so SI might as well have put an orange tabby on the cover as far as we’re concerned.  Anyway, read an in-depth analysis of the SI Cover Jinx written by SI’s Alexander Wolff in 2002 here.

The current Sports Illustrated cover is one the best I’ve seen since the 1997 SI Swimsuit Edition cover featuring a volumptuous Tyra Banks (before we si-cover-tyra.jpgknew she was an annoying crazy person).  Apparently the SI Cover Jinx worked in reverse after her appearance because misfortune didn’t find Tyra, it found us.  She now produces and stars in her own unwatchable reality show, America’s Next Top Model.  And if that weren’t enough, she also produces and hosts her own daytime talk show, The Tyra Banks Show.  It’s a talk show that (according to the show’s website) gives young women the “girlfriend” they want to hang out with, and the role model they need.  Personally, it gives me migraine headaches and stomach ulcers, yet I can’t seem to NOT watch it (but only during commercial breaks while I’m watching Days of Our Lives).

Anyway, the current issue of SI shows Green Bay Packer quarterback – and 2007 SI Sportsman of the Year – Brett Favre about to throw a pass during last weekend’s NFC si-cover-favre.jpgdivisional playoff victory over the Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay’s Lambeau Field.  Since Wag the Dog Publisher, B.A. Stewart, shares a first name with Mr. Favre AND has also attended two Minnesota Vikings vs. Green Bay Packers games at Lambeau Field within the past three years, he is making me post this article.  As a Minnesotan, I find it repulsive having to do this.  But, then again, we’re the true fair and balanced news media source, so I really have no choice, right?  Plus, like all bandwagon Minnesota Vikings fans – which I admit to being – I cheer for the Vikings until about mid-season, at which point they’ve most likely thoroughly disgusted and disappointed me to the point I’m forced to switch my allegiance to The Pack.  And while Minnesota sports teams have a knack for making horrendous player trades (i.e., The Trade), Green Bay has stuck with Favre for 16 seasons, leading to two Super Bowl appearances and one Super Bowl win (so far), despite a few less-than-stellar seasons on their quarterback’s part.  Also, our publisher’s spent so much money on beer at Lambeau Field that he feels he’s now somehow part-owner of the team.  Most importantly, Green Bay has more bars than churches, so there’s a soft spot in our hearts for this big little town.

So, despite Favre’s appearance on the cover of Sports Illustrated, we’re picking The Pack to crush the NY Giants on Sunday at the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field.  Oh, and we’re pretty sure the New England Patriots are going to beat the San Diego Chargers by about 40 points, leading to a Green Bay vs. New England Super Bowl XLII in Phoenix on February 3rd. 

By the way, we hear Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers are performing at the Super Bowl halftime show, so I’m fairly certain we don’t have to worry about any wardrobe malfunctions.  But, just in case, I’m sure Jimmy Kimmel and his crew will be on top of it should things take a turn for the worse.  Here’s a clip from last year’s Jimmy Kimmel’s Super Bowl Edition of Unnecessary Censorship: 

Remmy is a freelance journalist and Senior Sports Correspondent for Wag the Dog.  He shares a townhome in Rosemount, MN, with Sammy the Cat.  When he’s not writing or vigilantly tracking Sammy the Cat’s whereabouts, he’s chasing tail at the Dakota Woods Dog Park in Rosemount.  Look for him there.  He’s the good-looking Black Lab who always has a smile on his face.