Patty Hearst’s Pooch Steals Westminster Prize

UPDATE: Beagle Digs Up “Best in Show” at Westminster

lily-window-gazing.jpgThe aptly named Beagle, “Uno”, was awarded Best in Show at the 2008 Westminster Dog Show.  A special thanks to our Florida cousin, Pepper (also a Beagle), for breaking the story.  Apparently, Wag the Dog’s very own Lily the Beagle was asleep at the wheel on this story.  More likely, she’s sitting at home staring out her window watching for rogue squirrels.  That’s Lily over there (picture me pointing my paw to the picture at right).

Anyway, congratulations to Uno – the very first beagle to win Best in Show.  Read the entire story here.

French Bulldog or Symbionese Liberation Army Attack Dog?

patty-hearst.jpgWESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB (New York) – Imagine standing in line at your local bank when you hear a woman scream, “I’m Tania!  Up against the wall, motherf*****s!”  Chances are this happened to you if you were in the west-central San Francisco branch of the Hibernia Bank on April 15, 1974.  That’s the day Patty Hearst, kidnap victim turned girl terrorist, toted a machine gun to rob the bank with her radical (SLA) captors.  [source]

Fast forward to February 11th, 2008.  Enter Diva, the French Bulldog belonging to Patty Hearst (now known as Patricia Hearst Shaw).  Diva, whose champion’s name is “Shann’s Legally Blonde”, earned a red ribbon as Best of Opposite Sex – a male dog, 3-year old “Windmarks What A Guy”, won the breed while Diva was judged the top female.  Essentially, Diva came in second place. Obviously distraught from not winning the Best of Breed top prize, Diva reportedly sprang into a rage and attacked judge, Mr. Fred Bassett, nearly ripping his throat from his neck.  After authorities subdued Diva and placed her in a cage, she immediately started to claim her innocence.  One onlooker reportedly heard Diva state, “I was kidnapped, given a REALLY stupid long name, and forced to perform in this dog circus against my will.”

According to Detective McGruff, chief crime dog, “She’s mcgruff.gifobviously setting herself up for a Stockholm Syndrome defense, which worked for her owner in 1976 when then-President Jimmy Carter commuted her sentence.  Unfortunately for Diva, the big guy in the Whitehouse now is a mean son-of-a-bitch.”  Adding, “She really screwed the pooch when she attacked that judge.”

Ole is Wag the Dog’s sole Investigative Journalist.  He’s taking a few days off to enjoy New York City after being forced to spend two full days with snobbish purebreds while reporting from the Westminster Kennel Club.  Fellow staff at Wag the Dog have placed bets, and the consensus is that Ole will return to Minneapolis reeking of French Poodle. 

2 responses to “Patty Hearst’s Pooch Steals Westminster Prize

  1. But the top prize goes to the hounds – ah-roo for the Beagle!

  2. beagles are my favorite dogs 🙂

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